Social anxiety is a very debilitating and humbling
experience. In the grasp of it, you feel completely out of your senses and unconscious
of your behaviour. It is like being a small kid in presence of bullies, feeling
threatened for nothing. You feel out of control of your own actions, and almost
like possessed by a dark ghost.
No amount of logical talking and thinking from outside
helps, as it is one’s subconscious that is possessed by demons of fear and
irrationality. You become a target for everyone, especially those who cannot
fathom it, or want to take advantage of your weakness.
Interestingly, most people respond in a similar manner to
vulnerability.
The moment one sees vulnerability or fear in someone’s eyes
or demeanour, most try to stomp further upon the person further. It is like an
opportunity to get one up on someone, or a pathetic attempt to boost one’s own
self esteem by bullying someone else. Vulnerability is a target for everyone in
the crowd to let go of their suppressed insecurities.
By contrast, the same crowd if exposed to a dangerous and
fearful situation, like a mad killer, they would cower down and cringe in fear.
Take for example how a typical crowd would react to seeing a
socially anxious guy in public, vis-à-vis a killer like Ajmal Kasab of 26/11
fame. In the first case, the crowd would try to further bully down the guy,
gaining a sense of satisfaction even upon other’s misery. Come the second
situation however, the same bastards would cringe with fear and feel at mercy
of the killer. They would even lick the killer’s feet for mercy to escape with
their lives.
The crowd will have more respect for the killer, then the
innocent anxious guy. It is really very ridiculous and indicative of the intellect
of our species. We sick, coward bastards can only jump up and high when seeing
someone down. When fear faces us, boy how we react!
It for sure is interesting psychology in two completely
opposite situations, and shows up human behaviour’s limitations. May be with
more evolutionary progress, human behaviour will evolve too, and become more
logical. We sure can do better.